Love, Relationships and cheating... pt -1

On Several occasions when I go out to a mall or a book shop I often find myself ogling at good looking women and with the summers approaching often these already stunning women are wearing stunning dresses with a lot of boobies and legs showing. not that I am a pervert or an old world enthusiast but I would be wrong if I would say that I don't love the view. I do. But sometime also find some women looking and staring at me.. and not all of them look single.. like the other day there was this couple lets say somewhere in early thirties or late twenties visibly married were walking right next to me with their shopping cart in a large grocery store. yes folks i also do groceries once in a while it is fun to fill your cart with all those choc, cereals, coke, Pepsi, chips and what not... So this women turns around to pick something in the aisle and notices me and then every once in a while she has to do that .. soon it becomes a full blown ogling.. not i wonder was it harmless, was it just ogling, was it attraction, was it cheating, was it hormones , was it some hidden chemistry i don't know maybe will never know.. but then is she wrong...? probably her partner does the same all the time and maybe even flirts or sleeps with other women on one of his many supposed travels and off sites.....
Humans by nature are polygamous then why is it wrong to think of that other person.. supposed i know my partner does flirt and sleep with others or maybe our relationship is not working at all and we are there together for the heck of it then is it wrong to fulfill my carnal desires with someone else. what is cheating? well to each person it means different things.. to the one who feels cheated on everything is wrong but for the other person something usually triggers it.. maybe the better looking women, maybe someone who has more time for the other person, better understanding, more money list is endless...it could simple be also something for kicks.. would it be wrong for me to sleep with one of my gf's friends if we were not getting along and a breakup was imminent. Ans: I don't know. sometimes i feel yes it is cheating sometimes I don't. I don't know what my wife or gf is doing behind my back. yes you may call it a break of trust but again how can one be so sure. you only trust someone till it breaks and usually your trust breaks months or years after the deeds have been done and it only breaks if and when you find out.

Humans are a funny lot.. they do everything in hushed tones and behind locked doors and its always the other person who is wrong.. or some one else's husband or wife who is doing this slutty thing which women love gossiping about and men wish they could do the same too.. but the reality is everyone wants to do that other man or women and even when we can we do sometime and some people do and other just dont get the courage.. but is it all wrong..

to be continued in pt-2....

Bull shit Love Advice....you dont want to have... really!!

Since I had nothing better to do and was flipping through channels I happened to catch a chick flick tonite called "The Ugly Truth" on HBO. hmmm... an interesting movie with an interesting perspective which made me realize the loads of love and romance advice out there on so called lifestyle websites ... trust me all that is bull shit out there... especially if you were to read the timesofindia.com .. most are simply copied from some firang website explaining best places and positioned to have sex... the only thing they change there are names... for god sake who has a patio or a porch or an attic in India to make out.. and even Mukesh Ambani does not have have a garage or a secluded garden to do it in...or for that matter articles like "5 best ways to get pregnant" explaining 5 different poses. duh... what does a pose have to do with pregnancy.. and I swear we Indians do know about that we after all are more than 1 billion and we did not get to that figure by cloning did we?
    But anyway i decided to start my own yes very own love and relationships column or lets just say post till i can figure out if i can write another one on the same topic.Now you would ask what kind of relationship advice will a 35 year old , pot bellied geek who is starting to go bald at places and tries to hide it by growing his hai longer at other places(no im not talking of pubic hair u perverts) and eats pizzas and burgers and drinks beer and lives to write on his macbook air and use his iphone and ipod which very few people get to see since he does not take them out to work and has very few friends and is single with trip between the valleys of twin peeks or the jungles of heaven or the tunnel of joy for at-least last 2 years and is still single .... what can he tell us... well Ladies and gentleman i for one am the perfect person to give you advice since having gone through enough relationships and failure i have the relevant experience  way more that most of you put together ... like 8 in 6 months sound... no no i am no Casanova but a failure at being the pretentious and sweetheart for most women.. i am what they would call a jerk who loves his beers and comps and games and TV and every so often his work and books too...

Anyway so what shall i write.... err... advice about today.. how to seduce women/men? how to snare a good catch? how to have the perfect orgasm? lol no no no mmmmmm na na na na ok decided..

Lest give some genuine advice to women directly from a man... not that women need to know but i will give it anyway..yes yes i hear that from all the women out there just give the guy some sex or a blow job to be precise , a good sport on tv and a beer and you don't have to worry about any other advice. yes that's absolutely true but lets face it some men have evolved from that a little bit and a on a few occasions...well to prove it don't we have Gay and metro sexual men now? ok ok don't fret there are a few nice gentlemen out there who every once in a while are not that gentle and don't the women love it but only once in a while.. we all love the bad guy or girl as the case maybe... ok lets finally go to the topic of the day.

How to make a day special for the one you love in 10 simple steps?
This one is for the women out there married or dating. A simple idea about an ideal date within the city to make it special for your man. The kinds he will love. It is your anniversary, his birthday or you are simply trying to make up after a nasty fight this simple date idea will rock him off his knockers and will leave you all smiling and in control the following day.

1. Tell him to come home early for something important the whole idea is a surprise after all. 
2. When he reaches home you should be ready to go out. Dressing is imp... its winters now but most likely he will have a decent car with a decent heater and you are going to a nice place so don't worry about the chill and wear something sexy.. cleavage is good but don over do it.. you want to seduce him not the other people around  wear nice short dress or a shortish skirt with some cleave showing top.. and good lingerie is very imp try and wear a dark one like black or dark green under say a white or a lemon yellow top.. you get the idea.. stilettos are preferable.. and good phus phus(perfume) is a must.
3. You should pre book some nice movie tickets at a decent multiplex. make sure its a nice happy movie.. one with some sexy scenes will help. English or Hindi.. it depends on your mutual taste, time and whats running...
4. Make sure you pick a movie which ends near dinner time.. after the movie get him a small gift.. men are wossies buy him a good book or a video game or even buy sexy lingerie for yourself with him. just ask him for his advice at what kinds would he like to take off you.. it will have him lusting already...
5. Take him to a nice dinner at an upmarket place. If u get time excuse yourself to the ladies room and send him a dirty sms and tell him that you are not wearing any underwear... and watch his face when you get back...
6. Offer to pay for the dinner. make sure by the time you leave the place its late...
7. Ask him to buy flowers for you and then go for a nice drive before you head home .. and once you have the flowers.. and the car is speeding thru a desolate area quietly take slip off your panties and put them on his lap and telll him i told you i am not wearing any...by now he will be wanting to head home straint away.. ask him to pull over and give him a kiss and nothing more...
8. When you reach home just touch him or yourself at the wrong places while you are in the elevator/stairs/basement parking.. just tease him...
9. Once home don't switch on the lights but light a few scented candles and  open a bottle of sparkling wine preferable but you can choose between that or a champagne or normal wine.. choose your poison as per  the occasion and your wallet.
10. Talk dirty to him while you drink your wine and watch him go mad...and let the moment take over till you wake up next morning .. wake him up with a kiss and both of you will never forget this evening ever...

 If it works for you come back to this blog and post a comment or email me .....have a wonderful time and a nice evening....

Why Men and Women cheat?

Why do people cheat...? Lets look at both sexes..

Men

Men have always cheated, are cheating as we speak and will always cheat. That's their nature... well at least most of them out there. Even if you as a female think that your husband/boyfriend has never cheated on you or will never then 99% chances are that you are wrong and equally the claim by your man that when he first met you he was a virgin. Take it from me.. that as we speak he is laying his eyes in the hot female in his office or even the big fat one with loads of cleavage showing. But why we men do that? Simple we can do it. Its easy in the modern day and world and its available.. the temptation that is. We do it for fun for the kick and even at times when we are simple bored with our women. it may be long term, one night stand, fling.. any form but its there and very common.

Women

Men and women cheat on their partners for different reasons. Men tend to cheat because they want more physical stimulation, while women generally have more psychological and emotional motives for cheating.

Women need bonding, love, care, compassion, respect, mental stimulation, praise.. when they dont get that they tend to wonder away to other things... some get into dull life of home, some into profession and some cheat. Women rarely cheat for sex. they cheat for love and care...For them sex in both incidental and a way to show their love. sex for them is an extension of their feelings and not vice versa like men..

Yes women also need sex... every human does and if she does not get it or get it right she too cheats for sex like men do.. is there anything wrong with that? cant really pass judgements here. You tell me what do you think?


Give your feedback here or email me at annoyinggeek@gmail.com


Also Read

   1. Cheating
   2. Cheating - A few Case Studies

Socializing + Networking = Social Networking?

 Finally Last week after much persuasion I finally created a twitter account. I still don't have a Facebook, Orkut, Myspace, Hi5 etc etc account not even a Linked in. I really don't understand why do we have social networking.. are we not social enough of networked enough? I mean as Indians we grew up visiting uncles and aunts, parents colleagues where we were supposed to speak that poem we learnt at school man.. when all u could do on TV is watch  the Sunday movie, or "Chitrahaar" on wed for music and the daily 9pm serial.. the likes of "Hum log" and "Buniyaad" and "Yeh jo hai zindagi"..

There was so much to do for everyone whether they were kids, parents, grand parents neighbors whoever.. But now what do we have.. video games, Endless TV, Reality shows, Internet.. No socializing... kids don't even go out to play..Ok they go to football practise, swimming, Tennis, Cricket but thats not playing thats competition. Yup we making our kids into rats... worker rats nothing more nothing less. No one has time sit and talk, to make friends, to understand people, to listen to them, to communicate...And that is why we or you need Social networking. Make friends online or reconnect with them ...


What do people do on social networking sites.?

I joined twitter and posted 2 tweets. started following half a dozen people.. and all i found was the following..

Tweet 1. I woke up. good morning
Tweet 2. Went to the loo.
Tweet 3. Took a dump.
Tweet 4. See me taking a bath(pic attached)

WTF. what is that....
What happens on Facebook or orkut?
Well orkut has primarily Indian and Brazilians  mostly guys looking to do "FRANDSHIP" lets  not even go any further on that..
Facebook though is a bit different. Read a sample Time line of Facebook...

1. XYZ is relaxing at home(2 likes 3 comments)
2. XYZ @bombay (10 likes 20 comments)
3. XYZ posted pics(100 comments 200 likes)

while at the same time people on who are friends on gtalk are posting real time messages on FB and having a chat or at best having a chat on FB chat...

So what exactly are we doing...?
2 things. No socializing but attention seeking. This world is about voyeurism no one is looking to make friends.  Your supposed friend on facebook is actually looking at your honeymoon pics and posting likes etc.. but is he? or simply ogling at your hot wife in those hot honeymoon clothes?

Where is the Networking?
There is none... at best add your boss and coleagues... and then 2 months later wish you had not since they now can look at your drunken pics and your wife and your house and your thoughts .. even personal ones...

Sadly thats what this is all about. What are your views.. let me know....

Lost

sometimes... I hate myself for being myself and sometimes i love myself ... today i am in the former mood not because i have done something stupid but for reasons of trust, patience, sucess and failure, love ...

Have you ever loved and lost? Have you ever been put down like a used toilet paper..? i know i will move on sometime in my life.. but the cost seems to have been huge... the days gone by wont ever comeback but at the moment i cant do much.

No grudges and no hard feelings for someone else cause they don't cause you harm but we do it ourselves by trusting some people way too much.

Guess i will call it a day now. Good night guys...

Cheating - a few case studies.

My earlier post left a lot unsaid and i think it would not be fair unless i cover the topic in a bit more detail.

Lets start with a simple scenario.. Two families living nearby. One slightly well off good looking working  couple with kids and husband in an MNC. Second slightly less of f woman a housewife not good looking at all  husband makes ok money with one kid. Woman gets attracted to the other man. drops letters in his car. few phone calls and few days later the guy is caught by his wife tipped off by  her maid at the other woman's house. What he was doing there is anybody's guess. Who cheated who? Both. The woman instigated it. Why? Maybe physical/sexual attraction or the lure of a good lifestyle. Man why did he do it? The woman was older than the guy by maybe a couple of years too. Well men will most times go weak in the knees if a woman approaches him with sexual undertones. trust me for most men its very difficult to lay off in such a circumstance. Thats the way they are wired by god. Is it wrong? Maybe it is but then who said life is fair.

As i said in my earlier post humans are polygamous. someone pointed out men are polygamous but women rarely. Why? Simple. Men need to spread their seed like trees as far as they can for survival ( god dint think we will outlive and grow more powerful than any other species. he had made us animals too). While women need to hold on and be secure and make sure the offspring grows and survives.(again a throw back from ancient times). Also men have been designed to be more muscle and physical and hence the attraction to sex vs women who are more emotional and hence the emotional bonding stuff. Not that it does not work the other way but in a sense of generally speaking and averages. No wonder most women would agree to stay at home and enjoy the comforts if the men could provide more than the needs and for luxuries too. yes the times are changing and who knows what it evolves to but as of now and historically women are happy to play the sheet anchor role while men strive to earn a living. Most women will argue this point but lets face it somewhere it is true to a large extent weather forced by societies or nature. What do these lines have to do with cheating. Well in my earlier post remember i had said women who stay at home have less chances of their husbands cheating since they are able to dedicate more time to them. Yes i know you now are referring to my above example but you see there the woman cheated not the man.

Lets take another example. A family of 3 happy and another family of 3 all happy. man changes job meets a new woman married with kid and happy. soon enough they are dating and going off on tours.. hmm sounds fishy .. Man gets caught and confronted by wife. the other woman gets caught and confronted by husband. Both acknowledge to the affair but refuse to leave their partners. Why? What they get from each other is what was missing in their marriage.be it emotional bonding, good sex or even thrill or adventure. could be anything which drove them close and the fact that they were close in proximity and spending long hours at work together helped their relationship. Could be that the couples individually had no chemistry who knows.

Lets take a 3rd example a couple in a relationship. not married almost no sex and when it happens looks like a task list point. Man meets someone say an old friend starts talking online soon attraction grows. but it stays at that. They talk about everything. now would you say that this is cheating? Yes and no. Yes cause he somewhere is attracted to this woman while being with another and doing all this behind her back. No because he is already breaking up with the first one. the strains are already there. Or is it ok to fulfill different needs from different people while still being in love with someone else? Is Sex outside a greater sin or emotional infidelity the greater one?Can a person be in love with my girl/boy friend  as the case maybe and still be platonically involved with someone else? Lemme know what you think.. a follow up post may be in the pipeline....

Love & Relationships

Today as I was going through my old Hotmail account i came across some old emails from my ex girlfriend. She is now married and settled in a different town and everything between us is over. However those emails made me think about us and our relationships.

There are different kinds of Relationships.Between Parents and children, brothers and sisters, other extended family members, friends and other acquaintances, lovers, husband and wife and platonic. Then there are   Broken relationships, troubled relationships, open relationships, one sided relationships, intimate relationships sexual relationships, physical relationships (yes unlike what TV and newspaper might lead you to believe both are actually different ).

All kinds of relationships start from the day we are born. The first one inevitably with our mothers who is the first one to hold her baby in her arms after giving the child birth. The pain she goes through can in no means be described here by me ( a guy) as i will never every know or experience it. The first feel the baby has is when he is fed for the first time he soon learns to smell his mother. This is the purest and most sincere of all. Just unconditional love.As we grow older we have relations like brother, sister, grandson etc etc.

As we mature we start making relationships outside. But what exactly is a relationship? Relationship is a sense of bonding between two people where they share love, emotions, respect for each other, thoughts, experiences etc. How much each of them exists in a relationship defines the relationship. Make the love a bit less and you have a friendship make it more and a lot lot more add a sexual feeling in it and you call it Romance or marriage.

But then you have gray areas in between them. Most of the relationships are governed by Emotional, Economic, Social, Personal, Physical and or Sexual and Circumstantial pressures. But then should they really  be? Men and women can have deep love or mutual admiration or what you may call is chemistry between them but they need not be married or even be friends. Each relationship has its own rewards or satisfactions or even disappointments. Does that mean we can have other equivalent relationships? Does that count as cheating? maybe or maybe not. A woman may be perfectly happy with her family and kids and in deep love with her husband but is it wrong for her to ask for sexual favors from a man outside marriage in case her husband is not able to satisfy her? this can be true vice-versa also. No I am not justifying cheating here but what is cheating? having sex outside marriage and still being devoted to family or staying within the family all switched off and thinking about the other woman/ man or even being in love with someone else? Can we be in love with two people at the same-time? maybe yes but that is not right for one of the two partners as they in most cases do not want to share their love with anyone. so that brings us back to the fact that is just having sex outside marriage OK?

Most read MOST men have had more than one sexual partner in their lives and almost 50% of women too. but as long as its hidden everything is fine in Indian society. Then is it wrong to have a threesome? It happens.. and so does partner swapping (wont use the term wife swapping since it is sexist as both partners are swapped). Even when everyone is fully consenting in either threesome or swapping? I don't know. I really don't. I have no answers to any of the questions. What I know is man/woman by nature are polygamous. only the current society and its bindings make us monogamous. And that is a scientifically proven fact. we all have fantasies about other man woman. If you have watched porn you would have also compared the porn star with your partner and dreamt of being in a sexual act with that pron star or someone you may know in real life even if it is a move star or a cricket star. Is this not cheating? Here i ask what exactly is cheating? Who defines Cheating?

But does that mean pre-marital sex or sex between two consenting adults is ok? Well atleast for men it seems to be at-least in the indian society?These days we have something called Friends with Benefits - FWB (definition -Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment). The concept may seem taboo or alien to most but is there anything wrong in it? Why cant a single women who has a good friend ask for Sex? While we can allow the man to do so.. here both a man and a woman are involved but the guy is said to be a stud while the woman a slut.

Ok maybe i have mixed too many topics or maybe thats the state of my mind. too confused and angry. Don't know.  I have just penned down a few thoughts that came to my mind because of certain conversations and feelings. they may or may not be right. here i am not stating anything just asking a few questions to myself and you. let me know what you think? do you identify with any of the above thoughts?