Today as I was going through my old Hotmail account i came across some old emails from my ex girlfriend. She is now married and settled in a different town and everything between us is over. However those emails made me think about us and our relationships.
There are different kinds of Relationships.Between Parents and children, brothers and sisters, other extended family members, friends and other acquaintances, lovers, husband and wife and platonic. Then there are Broken relationships, troubled relationships, open relationships, one sided relationships, intimate relationships sexual relationships, physical relationships (yes unlike what TV and newspaper might lead you to believe both are actually different ).
All kinds of relationships start from the day we are born. The first one inevitably with our mothers who is the first one to hold her baby in her arms after giving the child birth. The pain she goes through can in no means be described here by me ( a guy) as i will never every know or experience it. The first feel the baby has is when he is fed for the first time he soon learns to smell his mother. This is the purest and most sincere of all. Just unconditional love.As we grow older we have relations like brother, sister, grandson etc etc.
As we mature we start making relationships outside. But what exactly is a relationship? Relationship is a sense of bonding between two people where they share love, emotions, respect for each other, thoughts, experiences etc. How much each of them exists in a relationship defines the relationship. Make the love a bit less and you have a friendship make it more and a lot lot more add a sexual feeling in it and you call it Romance or marriage.
But then you have gray areas in between them. Most of the relationships are governed by Emotional, Economic, Social, Personal, Physical and or Sexual and Circumstantial pressures. But then should they really be? Men and women can have deep love or mutual admiration or what you may call is chemistry between them but they need not be married or even be friends. Each relationship has its own rewards or satisfactions or even disappointments. Does that mean we can have other equivalent relationships? Does that count as cheating? maybe or maybe not. A woman may be perfectly happy with her family and kids and in deep love with her husband but is it wrong for her to ask for sexual favors from a man outside marriage in case her husband is not able to satisfy her? this can be true vice-versa also. No I am not justifying cheating here but what is cheating? having sex outside marriage and still being devoted to family or staying within the family all switched off and thinking about the other woman/ man or even being in love with someone else? Can we be in love with two people at the same-time? maybe yes but that is not right for one of the two partners as they in most cases do not want to share their love with anyone. so that brings us back to the fact that is just having sex outside marriage OK?
Most read MOST men have had more than one sexual partner in their lives and almost 50% of women too. but as long as its hidden everything is fine in Indian society. Then is it wrong to have a threesome? It happens.. and so does partner swapping (wont use the term wife swapping since it is sexist as both partners are swapped). Even when everyone is fully consenting in either threesome or swapping? I don't know. I really don't. I have no answers to any of the questions. What I know is man/woman by nature are polygamous. only the current society and its bindings make us monogamous. And that is a scientifically proven fact. we all have fantasies about other man woman. If you have watched porn you would have also compared the porn star with your partner and dreamt of being in a sexual act with that pron star or someone you may know in real life even if it is a move star or a cricket star. Is this not cheating? Here i ask what exactly is cheating? Who defines Cheating?
But does that mean pre-marital sex or sex between two consenting adults is ok? Well atleast for men it seems to be at-least in the indian society?These days we have something called Friends with Benefits - FWB (definition -Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment). The concept may seem taboo or alien to most but is there anything wrong in it? Why cant a single women who has a good friend ask for Sex? While we can allow the man to do so.. here both a man and a woman are involved but the guy is said to be a stud while the woman a slut.
Ok maybe i have mixed too many topics or maybe thats the state of my mind. too confused and angry. Don't know. I have just penned down a few thoughts that came to my mind because of certain conversations and feelings. they may or may not be right. here i am not stating anything just asking a few questions to myself and you. let me know what you think? do you identify with any of the above thoughts?
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