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The warmth of the winter chill is here....

Okay Its getting dark and and its getting cold and nights are getting long. The leaves on the trees are starting to turn color... the winter flowers are blooming in full. The time when you open your mouth early in the morning hot air rushes out as if you were smoking... The sight of peanut and Chikki vendors is getting more and more visible by every passing day. The mood to eat hot Jalebis and warm milk at Haldirams in Lajpat Nagar beckons.. the lines for Jalebi will only get longer and longer with each passing day. So its officially winter in Delhi. The temp is going down steadily and has hit single digits late in the night, the shawls,sweaters, mufflers and jackets are out in full swing... so are the body warmers and the monkey caps...Even the dogs have started wearing cute Coats with pug marks or bones printed on them.. feel sad for the strays on the street though.. You can see people huddled across a small fire if you are out late into the night mostly burning old tyres, plastics to get some warmth even at the expense of inhaling those toxic fumes but who cares years down the line he has to survive the night first... the dog sits next to them nice curled up and taking the warmth for once man and beast tolerate each other...

Its that time of the year when for some its dark and cold and gloomy and for some its time to have some fun go out eat drink make merry. The time when we love to eat hot kebabs or grill chicken fresh in your own hose on your OTG or the grill bought from the Rajasthanis selling them by the dozens on the empty stretches of the MG road or  Ring Road...for the lazy or less fortunate one like me the the neighborhood barbecue place with free home delivery is a boon. though i hope to try out and make some kebabs at home this year... one of my new year wishes.. the kebabs go well with rum n coke or red wine..don't you love the hot grill next to you with fresh paneer tikka and your drink in your hand listening to some wonderful music?

Also The winters bring out the romance in you... would you not love to snuggle up with your partner next to a warm fire...? or in case of us delhiites in front of the tv with the heater on and us under the quilts.. scantily clad holding on to each other and whispering a bunch of sweet nothings into each others ears while she occasionally asks you how much you love her or tries to nibble at your ears and asking you to turn down the lights and switch off the tv. the time when you want to make love and not have raw sex....? The time when you love to be loved .. a time to love, a time to share, a time to hug, a time to smile.. Think about it and while you are it.. give away some clothes to those homeless people on the street and not to your maid who gets them from 10 different houses anyway.. give some food to those people out there feed a puppy or any animal you may find or fancy. be good and be enjoy the winters...

Bull shit Love Advice....you dont want to have... really!!

Since I had nothing better to do and was flipping through channels I happened to catch a chick flick tonite called "The Ugly Truth" on HBO. hmmm... an interesting movie with an interesting perspective which made me realize the loads of love and romance advice out there on so called lifestyle websites ... trust me all that is bull shit out there... especially if you were to read the timesofindia.com .. most are simply copied from some firang website explaining best places and positioned to have sex... the only thing they change there are names... for god sake who has a patio or a porch or an attic in India to make out.. and even Mukesh Ambani does not have have a garage or a secluded garden to do it in...or for that matter articles like "5 best ways to get pregnant" explaining 5 different poses. duh... what does a pose have to do with pregnancy.. and I swear we Indians do know about that we after all are more than 1 billion and we did not get to that figure by cloning did we?
    But anyway i decided to start my own yes very own love and relationships column or lets just say post till i can figure out if i can write another one on the same topic.Now you would ask what kind of relationship advice will a 35 year old , pot bellied geek who is starting to go bald at places and tries to hide it by growing his hai longer at other places(no im not talking of pubic hair u perverts) and eats pizzas and burgers and drinks beer and lives to write on his macbook air and use his iphone and ipod which very few people get to see since he does not take them out to work and has very few friends and is single with trip between the valleys of twin peeks or the jungles of heaven or the tunnel of joy for at-least last 2 years and is still single .... what can he tell us... well Ladies and gentleman i for one am the perfect person to give you advice since having gone through enough relationships and failure i have the relevant experience  way more that most of you put together ... like 8 in 6 months sound... no no i am no Casanova but a failure at being the pretentious and sweetheart for most women.. i am what they would call a jerk who loves his beers and comps and games and TV and every so often his work and books too...

Anyway so what shall i write.... err... advice about today.. how to seduce women/men? how to snare a good catch? how to have the perfect orgasm? lol no no no mmmmmm na na na na ok decided..

Lest give some genuine advice to women directly from a man... not that women need to know but i will give it anyway..yes yes i hear that from all the women out there just give the guy some sex or a blow job to be precise , a good sport on tv and a beer and you don't have to worry about any other advice. yes that's absolutely true but lets face it some men have evolved from that a little bit and a on a few occasions...well to prove it don't we have Gay and metro sexual men now? ok ok don't fret there are a few nice gentlemen out there who every once in a while are not that gentle and don't the women love it but only once in a while.. we all love the bad guy or girl as the case maybe... ok lets finally go to the topic of the day.

How to make a day special for the one you love in 10 simple steps?
This one is for the women out there married or dating. A simple idea about an ideal date within the city to make it special for your man. The kinds he will love. It is your anniversary, his birthday or you are simply trying to make up after a nasty fight this simple date idea will rock him off his knockers and will leave you all smiling and in control the following day.

1. Tell him to come home early for something important the whole idea is a surprise after all. 
2. When he reaches home you should be ready to go out. Dressing is imp... its winters now but most likely he will have a decent car with a decent heater and you are going to a nice place so don't worry about the chill and wear something sexy.. cleavage is good but don over do it.. you want to seduce him not the other people around  wear nice short dress or a shortish skirt with some cleave showing top.. and good lingerie is very imp try and wear a dark one like black or dark green under say a white or a lemon yellow top.. you get the idea.. stilettos are preferable.. and good phus phus(perfume) is a must.
3. You should pre book some nice movie tickets at a decent multiplex. make sure its a nice happy movie.. one with some sexy scenes will help. English or Hindi.. it depends on your mutual taste, time and whats running...
4. Make sure you pick a movie which ends near dinner time.. after the movie get him a small gift.. men are wossies buy him a good book or a video game or even buy sexy lingerie for yourself with him. just ask him for his advice at what kinds would he like to take off you.. it will have him lusting already...
5. Take him to a nice dinner at an upmarket place. If u get time excuse yourself to the ladies room and send him a dirty sms and tell him that you are not wearing any underwear... and watch his face when you get back...
6. Offer to pay for the dinner. make sure by the time you leave the place its late...
7. Ask him to buy flowers for you and then go for a nice drive before you head home .. and once you have the flowers.. and the car is speeding thru a desolate area quietly take slip off your panties and put them on his lap and telll him i told you i am not wearing any...by now he will be wanting to head home straint away.. ask him to pull over and give him a kiss and nothing more...
8. When you reach home just touch him or yourself at the wrong places while you are in the elevator/stairs/basement parking.. just tease him...
9. Once home don't switch on the lights but light a few scented candles and  open a bottle of sparkling wine preferable but you can choose between that or a champagne or normal wine.. choose your poison as per  the occasion and your wallet.
10. Talk dirty to him while you drink your wine and watch him go mad...and let the moment take over till you wake up next morning .. wake him up with a kiss and both of you will never forget this evening ever...

 If it works for you come back to this blog and post a comment or email me .....have a wonderful time and a nice evening....

Sex for a Geek Blogger

Yes that's exactly what she asked me before we broke up...
What do you think I told her?

Blogger Sex

Talking of Diddy, dowdy,dandy and Daddy's in bollywood

Rishi and Ranbir Kapoor

Ok! we all saw or at-least I and some of you saw the Koffe with Karan episode with Sonam Kapoor and Deepika Padukone hmmm and not many but most women folk had fun watching the two damsels digging into Ranbir Kapoor and  and Ripping him apart piece by piece at a time... He was rated unsexy, in need of condoms and lots more... Now we all know when 2 of your ex girlfriends get together then its not a very good idea at-least for the men that is... and then lord save you from the wrath of a woman who has been scorned in love.. anyway that I heard from the rumor mill left Mr. RK all red faced trying to hide that redness in busy work schedules.. often shouting at hapless spot boys and poor looker ons.. and then suddenly the big Daddy Mr. RK senior (Rishi Kapoor)jumps in to save the poor son.. On that note may I ask why is everyone in the Kapoor khandaan called RK? anyone any idea? did they time travel and take tips from one miss Ekta Kapoor of "KKKK" fame about numerology and Alphabet specifications..? Anyway getting back to the Daddy thing.. It seems RK senior saw the movie daddy and took it to heart and jumped in to save his son.. what did he think? his young flirtatious son who seems to be sleeping around with more women than one Ms or is it now MRS Jenna Jameson(heard she married Peter North another porn star.. ah wonder if they even made a honeymoon video and sold it like some of the other Hollywood celebs?) could do in her entire porn career is one small boy who cant fight for himself ? well in that case he better be locked up for teenage sex or did our RK junior run to big fat daddy to ask for help? hmm... when he can f@#k round then he better be able to  get f@#k around too shouldn't he?

Abhishek and Amitabh Bachchan

Then we come to our second khandaan the new No1 khandaan of bollywood after the erstwhile Kapoor Khandaan.. Yes I am talking of  the Bachchan Khandaan.. Again they too have the AB syndrome.. Abhishek, Amitabh and Aishwarya Bachchan.. wonder  what her children will be called? sure AB :D lol... There also we see every now and then Daddy dear jumping in to save his son and this time from critics and media.. lets accept AB junior is stupid in front of the camera in most of the roles he does barring the odd one like Sarkaar then why try to defend him especially in a movie like RAAVAN.. hmmm hmmm.. now I see why Dhritrashtra was so helpless and could not do the right thing.. Are RK and AB senior the Dhritrashtra of modern times...?(for the un-initiated Dhritrashtra was the the father of Duryodhna in Mahabharta who was not only physically blind but also mentally blind in his sons love click here for more info on him...ctsy:WikiPedia)
 Are these modern day daddy's replacing the Mommy and babby syndrome of the stars of the 90's?
Let me know here in comments or email me at annoyinggeek@gmail.com or follow me on twitter at http://twitter.com/AnnoyingGeek